Oh, Woe Is Me!

O Eve, we love you to death—

More than we can say, BUT

Why did you have to go

And get us into this rut?

Hey, you had it so good.

Talk about life of leisure!

But one little bite and zap!

That put an end to our pleasure.

Of all the fruit in the garden

You fell for the apple, of course.

You’re lucky that dear hubby Adam

Didn’t request a divorce.

Kicked out of the Garden of Eden,

You had to suffer the throes...

And because of you look what happened:

Now we all have to wear clothes!

Oh, woe is me!

What’s there to do?

Thanks to dear Eve,

We’re all in a stew.

O Pandora, beautiful lady,

Did Zeus not foresee the hard knocks

That would have to befall us

After you opened that box?

Did Hephaestus and Athena

Mold you out of the earth

Only to let out the evils

And put an end to our mirth?

We know that you weren’t being malicious,

For that’s not the person you were;

Your curiosity tricked you

Before you knew what would occur.

With all the plagues and diseases

I don’t know how we would cope

If you hadn’t left in the box

That one little glimmer of Hope.

Oh, woe is me!

What’s there to do?

Thanks to Pandora,

We’re all in a stew.

Prometheus, why did you have to,

After making man out of clay,

Go and present us with fire?

Now we all have to pay!

Surely your flames have been useful

To help us to warm our buns,

Or to boil our drinking water

To keep us from getting the runs.

But look what else you have started:

Because of you and your fire

We now have powerful weapons

That we can never retire.

If we just had rocks and arrows,

We’d still be inflicting much pain.

But bombs that could blow up the earth?

I swear! That is truly insane!

Oh, woe is me!

What’s there to do?

Thanks to Prometheus,

We’re all in a stew.

Victor Frankenstein, tell us:

Were you not cognizant prior

To making your monstrous creation

That it was sure to backfire?

For the suffering that you caused

Numerous victims have scorned you.

I’m sure some wary friend said,

“Sorry, Victor, I warned you!”

We all know that you suffered.

Your daily life was hell.

And because of you and the others,

We all have to suffer as well.

We in our infinite wisdom,

Ignoring all the signs,

Continue to assemble

Our own Frankensteins!

Oh, woe is me!

What’s there to do?

Thanks to dear Victor,

We’re all in a stew.

(3-28-14) By Bob B