How Do I Know? 'Cause Putin Told Me So

D.J.T.:

"There was no conspiracy.

I won the race legitimately.

How do I know? 'Cause Putin told me so.

"Kim Jong Un can toil and toil,

But his bombs can't reach our soil.

How do I know? 'Cause Putin told me so.

"Before I ask our experts,

Usually I think twice.

I would rather go

To Putin for advice.

"NATO doesn’t need our aid.

I think we are being played.

How do I know? 'Cause Putin told me so.

“Nuclear treaties? Not essential.

Power makes you presidential.

How do I know? ‘Cause Putin told me so.”

-by Bob B (2-27-19)

Teflon Don

He rode into town like a wannabe--

The town we'll simply call D.C.--

And sat back with his feet upon the desk.

He brought his team--a ruthless bunch,

Most of whom are out to lunch

And operate in a manner quite grotesque.

Yep, a real phenomenon--

This man known as Teflon Don…

It didn't take long for him

To know he had to sink or swim

And this guy was determined not to sink.

Confuse and befuddle, he said,

And that's how he would get ahead:

By practicing the art of doublethink.

Yep, a real phenomenon--

This man known as Teflon Don…

Undo progress done before,

Defy the critics keeping score,

And do not worry if you sound uncouth.

Such was the man's M.O.

To win he knew he must let go

Of any close connection with the truth.

Yep, a real phenomenon--

This man known as Teflon Don…

Trusting not his experts here,

He let Putin have his ear,

And yet his fans never seemed to mind.

He could do no wrong, they felt.

Such is how the cards were dealt.

And how they hate it when their man's maligned!

Yep, a real phenomenon--

This man known as Teflon Don…

He can lie, cheat, and steal,

Come on strong and cop a feel,

And some say even get away with killing.

And yet his fans will all bow down

And do obeisance to their clown,

Which others find incredibly blood chilling.

Yep, a real phenomenon--

This man known as Teflon Don…

-by Bob B (2-26-19)

And Yet Another Crackpot Emerges

Wow! Here we go again:

The FBI stopped a crime,

Preventing a screwy miscreant

From mass killings just in time.

A Coast Guard lieutenant he was

Who loves Russia's autocracy

And neo-Nazi literature,

Which threaten our democracy.

He had the names of Democrats

And media figures on his list,

Along with a stockpiled arsenal--

This crazed domestic terrorist.

Advocating violence,

He’s published words of hate and fear:

He would do his part in order

To make a "white homeland" here.

In our current environment,

Where vitriol is a daily occurrence

In presidential tweets and no

Criticisms provide deterrence,

The president's hateful attacks on reporters

Should truly sound an alarm bell.

He says, "I HATE some of these people.

But I would never kill them…WELL…"

So unfit for office he is,

He doesn't even realize

The impact of his messages--

The lives his words jeopardize.

He can’t seem to help himself

Or see his own contradictions.

The country is filled with crackpots who

Eat up all of his crazy fictions.

It took Trump a week to speak out

Or mention the seriousness of this case.

Why so long? Heaven forbid

He anger extremists among his base!

-by Bob B (2-25-19)

Stuck on the Wall

(can be sung to "Over the Rainbow" from the film THE WIZARD OF OZ)

"Down on our southern border

There's my wall.

Even though you can't see it,

I see it standing tall.

"Some say it doesn't need to

Be in place.

But I've worked very hard to

Dupe my believing base.

"Congress might not give me cash,

But I've got ways to find the stash

To fund it.

I've declared--as you can see!--

A national emergency.

Screw those who shunned it.

"I will get what I want; I

Always do.

My great wall is going to

Make all my dreams come true.

"If Putin gets his way, then why

Can't Donald Trump? Yes,

Why the hell can't I?"

-by Bob B (2-19-19)

Beware

Beware the Sinclair Broadcast Group,

Where needed attention to truth is skipped.

Anchors from all across the country

Have to read the very same script.

Harmless? Well, that's what you think.

The trouble is problems arise

When the news stations are forced

To spread to millions the president's lies.

What should be an anathema to

A free society happens to be

A broadcasting system that is

The next best thing to state-run TV.

Here's the major emphasis:

Coordinate presentations.

The Group cunningly sets out

To brainwash viewers of local stations.

The wise, of course, see through all

The blatant deception, but many don't

See through the crafty propaganda

Machine--either they CAN'T or WON'T.

Woe is us if our news system

Imitates Putin's, and so

Beware the Sinclair Broadcast Group.

Reject the dangerous puppet show.

-by Bob B (2-12-19)

The Anointed One?

The leader's fans grovel before him--

The wannabe autocrat.

The "anointed one" is what they call him.

Yes, they actually call him that--

A morally corrupt man

With nineteen or so accusations

Of sexual misconduct, and is

The center of many investigations;

Whose character ought to be

A shining example in people's lives,

And yet who has, as everyone knows,

Cheated on ALL three of his wives;

Whose thirst for attention, praise, fame,

And recognition is undying;

Who's known for stiffing workers and is

Given to pathological lying;

Who brags about grabbing women's

Private parts because he can,

Because he thinks his wealth has made him

A privileged, entitled man;

Who had a fling with a porno star

When his son was four-months-old;

Who also paid hush money to

A sexy Playboy centerfold;

Who incites hateful white extremists,

Who now feel more emboldened to spread

Hatred and animosity

And cause innocent blood to be shed.

And yet…and yet…despite all this,

A person whom rational people would shun

Is called by some supporters out there

A savior--THE anointed one.

What a mondo bizzarro we live in!

Nowadays so much is at stake.

But calling him the anointed one?

For goodness' sake! Give us a break!

Unless one day they open their eyes,

They'll be in for a BIG surprise.

-by Bob B (2-5-19)

One Woman's Complaint

"I am having trouble understanding what it is

That motivates the machinations of the male sex.

They LOVE to flex their muscles but the mental muscle ought

To be the real muscle that they flex.

"I will not apologize for having natural beauty.

I've been a lucky person ever since my birth.

But why is it so hard for men to gaze beneath the surface?

They constantly overlook my worth.

"Hey, tell me what is wrong with clever conversation.

My girlfriends tell me it's a gift for which I have a knack.

But guys come up and talk to me for one reason only,

And that is to get me in the sack!

"I'm not saying all men out there out there act like lecherous louses.

Some have great respect for women; they know how to treat them.

But they must be a dime a dozen, for to tell the truth,

I have no idea where to meet them.

"I wish I could be optimistic, but it's really hard

To meet that special person who could be that perfect find.

Someday I would really love to meet a guy who has

More than sex and football on his mind.

"They say that all the nice ones have a wife and kids, or maybe

They have other interests, and that's fine. But egad!

Just because they're married doesn't mean that they are perfect.

A married man can also be a cad.

"Though I’m not a rocket scientist, I am not a dummy.

To try to guess what makes men tick I guess would be in vain,

For even though I graduated summa cum laude,

The SOBs don't want me for my brain!"

-by Bob B (2-2-19)