The Ballad of Louis DeJoy

This is a tale of a killer,

Though not in the usual sense.

Although he's not killing people,

The scale of his crime is immense.

 

This particular killer

Is one who is out to destroy

The U.S. Postal Service.

His name is Louis DeJoy.

 

Appointed by Donald J. Trump

As a postmaster general thug,

DeJoy is wrecking a system

So that he could pull the plug.

 

When you are one of Trump's donors,

Competency doesn't matter

As much as loyalty does,

For Trump prefers the latter.

 

Despite his conflicts of interest,

DeJoy got this postal position.

The man has invested millions

In post office competition.

 

He has disassembled

Mail-sorting machines.

His goal: slow down the service

By any available means.

 

If his efforts continue,

You will find greater success

Having a letter delivered

Faster by pony express.

 

Morale among workers is low.

Of course, that's no surprise,

As working conditions grow worse

And workplace injuries rise.

 

Having this killer run loose

Is something that we can't afford.

Unfortunately, his removal

Is up to a postal board.

 

Now DeJoy is under

Investigation. Why?

An alleged straw donor scheme.

Good luck to the FBI!

 

Perhaps that's what it will take

To give the guy the hook.

In the meantime, it seems

As though we'll be stuck with the crook.

 

When his removal will happen,

So far we can't tell.

Let's just hope for the day

That we can bid him farewell.

Oh, what a glorious day

When we can bid him farewell!

-by Bob B (10-29-21)

Eternal Rest

Life has its beautiful moments

When everything appears to jell.

Then, of course, life is filled

With moments of suffering as well.

 

Good days, bad days. The pendulum swings.

We’re happy today, we’re sad tomorrow.

Our attitude makes a huge difference

In how we respond to joy and sorrow.

 

Whatever inhabits my earthly form

Is a temporary guest

Until that time comes for me

To enter into eternal rest.

 

Eternal rest. I like how that sounds.

And also the thought of resting in peace.

Happiness becomes transformed

And illness, pain, and suffering cease.

 

It’s human nature for us to want

Some things to last forever and hence

As much as we cling to people and things,

Know that there is a consequence.

 

I hate the thought of leaving my loved ones—

My family, my friends—and earthly pleasures,

But when my time is up, I know

That Death defies our countermeasures.

 

That being said, I do not wish

To die tomorrow or hasten the end.

I just prefer to look at Death

Not as a foe but more as a friend.

-by Bob B (10-26-21)

Today I Got My Booster Shot*

Today I got

My booster shot.

It didn't get

A second thought.

Two shots first,

Then THIS makes three.

No, COVID's not for me.

 

Hi ho the derry o!

Vaccinations work and so

I've known since long ago:

Getting sick is not for me.

 

My booster shot

Protects me now.

The scientists

Should take a bow.

Viruses

Aren't fun, you see.

So, COVID's not for me.

 

You MIGHT not want

To get your shot.

It’s hard to un-

Derstand why not.

Experts say

That when we do,

It's best for me and you.

 

If only all

Would persevere

To help make CO-

VID disappear!

We’re in luck

For we have got

A safe, effective shot.

 

Yes, herd immunity:

We know what that's all about.

Let’s stand in unity.

Get your booster shot and shout,

"Hey!

I got my shot today!"

-by Bob B (10-25-21)

 

*This poem could be sung to the melody of the 1940 song "I’ve Got No Strings" by Leigh Harline and Ned Washington for the Disney film PINOCCHIO. If you don’t know the song, check it out on YouTube. Knowing the melody helps with the rhythm of the poem.

Hoarders Beware

When we delve into our past,

Stories of odd eccentrics abound.

Of course, you'll find them even today

If you dare to look around.

 

Have you heard of the Collyer brothers--

Two brothers of strange repute?

Homer and Langley were their names.

Their oddness one cannot refute.

 

Born in the late 1800s,

The two were only three years apart.

Although they were peculiar,

Both of them were rather smart.

 

Langley studied engineering

And chemistry; Homer, law.

When the family moved to Harlem,

They lived in a brownstone with ma and pa.

 

After their parents separated,

The two brothers chose to reside

With their mom and even continued

To stay there after their mother died.

 

The brothers had a strange compulsion

To collect stuff and even more stuff.

And when that happens, for many people,

There is never, ever enough.

 

They lived in "nests" that they had made

In debris that was piled as high as the ceiling.

Most of us couldn't comprehend

How the two could find that appealing.

 

Langley built booby traps in case

Inquisitive neighbors tried to break in.

People on the outside knew

That something strange was occurring within.

 

The brothers refused to pay their bills,

So naturally, it came to pass,

That they would have to make do without

Electric power, water, and gas.

 

The two had 25,000 books,

Mountains of papers and magazines,

Fourteen pianos, two organs--

Surely the most bizarre of scenes--

 

Baby carriages, bicycles,

Human organs pickled in jars,

Thousands of bottles, cats, banjos,

Chandeliers, and parts of cars.

 

Homer was found dead in an alcove.

He died of starvation and heart disease.

His matted gray hair hung down to his shoulders

And his head was resting on his knees.

 

Later, the body of Langley was found,

After a two-and-a-half-week lapse.

Apparently, he had been killed

By one of his own booby traps.

 

Over 120 tons

Of junk was removed from the brothers' dwelling.*

Incomprehensible!

And you can bet that it wasn't sweet smelling.

 

So hoarders beware. Listen to

The wake-up call before it's too late,

Lest you follow the path of the Collyer

Brothers and suffer a similar fate.

-by Bob B (10-24-21)

*Some sources say 140 tons.

Pastor Wacko

Have you heard of Pastor Rick Wiles?

Pastor Wacko is more apropos.

After hearing about his rants,

I'm sure he's someone I DON'T want to know.

 

According to him, "they" are planting

Parasite eggs within our vaccine.

Thus, an "evil cabal of people"

Will gain control through COVID-19.

 

Because of the Chinese medical mafia,

He got COVID, he attested.

They had infected him because

He wanted to have Dr. Fauci arrested.

 

Other assertions that Wiles has made:

Trump's impeachment: a "Jew coup."

Because of marriage equality,

Earth's destruction will ensue.

 

Queen Elizabeth is really

A "lizard person" in a disguise.

God will murder the enemies

Of Donald Trump. What a surprise!

 

Because of widespread gay rights, God

Is killing chickens and pigs and bees.

Bill Clinton has brain cancer

Because he devours children. Please!

 

That someone like Wiles has followers

Is as crazy as crazy could be;

But anyone who believes his nonsense

Has to be as wacky as he.

-by Bob B (10-21-21)

Zoom, Zoom, Zoom Went the Virus

(This poem can be sung to the melody "Clang, Clang, Clang Went the Trolley," by Hugh Martin and Ralph Blane and sung by Judy Garland.)

 

With my questions teeming, with an open mind,

And with fear of what might come about,

I scoured the information and looked for inspiration

To deal with rampant doubt.

As the COVID virus spread around the globe,

It was not some silly little game.

It spread and it spread, and what lay ahead

Made it clear we'd remember its name.

 

Zoom, zoom, zoom went the virus--

Si-, si-, silent but real.

Why, why, why, asked the people,

Do we have to face such an ordeal?

 

Squirt, squirt, squirt went the vaccine

Pumped, pumped, into each arm.

Crossed, crossed, crossed went our fingers

That the vaccine would work like a charm.

 

Though not foolproof, somehow it works.

We know that vaccinations have a lot of perks.

We will be safe to a degree--

Safer than without it; that is a cinch to see.

 

Hiss, hiss, hiss went deniers.

Stop, stop, stop! went their screams.

Free-, free-, freedom! they shouted.

And the more that they squawked with their reasons half-cocked,

We could tell…

They enjoyed raising hell.

 

Why do they have to be so strange?

Maybe there is hope that some of them will change.

Why don't they listen to the pros,

And stop believing lies that add to all our woes?

 

Sniff, sniff, sniff go our noses.

Swish, swish, we wipe our tears

As we remember our loved ones.

After we've dodged the darts

Let us hold in our hearts all the vast

Memories we've amassed.

What a blast! Not aghast we'll hold fast when at last

COVID'S passed. Yes, and THEN…

We'll be safe once AGAIN!

-by Bob B (10-20-21)