Hail to Thee, Colonoscopy!

Have you ever prepped for a colonoscopy?

That's what I get to do today.

It means no solid food for me;

Clear broth will be my entrée.

I get to drink as much water

And juice as I want; but there's a catch:

The constant need of a toilet nearby--

A slight downside to "Down the hatch!"

Another rule: I must not let

Anything RED pass through my mouth.

Apparently, red things tend to

Cause confusion…well…down "south."

When passing by the bakery window

Where freshly-baked sweets are lying,

I know it will be torture for me

To hear my stomach growling and crying.

I do get to eat popsicles--

That is, as long as they aren't red.

Maybe I can just pretend

That they're tacos or pizza instead.

I have to STOP thinking about food.

I know my hunger pains won't last

Forever, and I can always say

I'm on a liquid and popsicle fast.

When the real clean-out starts

Later in the afternoon,

That's when the fun REALLY begins!

Help! I want this over soon!

I will spare you those details.

Just know that more adventures follow.

I'll be relieved after this prep

And my trip to the surgery center tomorrow.

(But let me warn you: I really don't

Mean to freak you out, but

Don't worry if it feels as though

You're peeing out of your you-know-what!)

The actual procedure is not that bad--

Once I get through today and tonight.

I won't feel or remember a thing;

Hopefully, I'll be out like a light.

The doctor is also performing an upper

G.I. endoscopy. I strongly hope

That when he does it, he is certain

That he's using a different scope.

Too much information? Maybe.

But if you've never done this, you

At least know all the wonderful things

You have to look forward to.

(11-29-15) By Bob B

Gunfight at the D-Lux Diner

The day starts out like any day--

A Saturday morning just like most others.

The diner is buzzing with customers:

Grandparents, kids, fathers, mothers.

Breakfast specials, waitresses dashing

To and fro--no time for slacking.

Each one proudly displaying her handgun.

(This is a state where everyone's packing.)

Somebody hears a man complain

To the waitress, saying his eggs aren't done.

He doesn't like how she responds,

So he kills her with one shot from his gun.

Suddenly all hell breaks loose.

Bullets go flying; people are screaming.

Covered with blood, a survivor says later,

"It happened so fast, I thought I was dreaming."

Shrieking at seeing the waitress fall,

A young mother aims at the shooter,

Missing him and instead sending

A bullet into the town's prosecutor,

Whose wife then shoots at the mother,

Hitting the woman smack in the head.

Meanwhile, the husband points his gun

At his wife's killer, shooting her dead.

Customers everywhere dive for cover,

Aiming their guns in the air and firing.

Popping noises drown out the screams

And moans of people hit and expiring.

Running out of the kitchen a cook

Shoots his gun in all directions,

Hitting random customers

And showing his shooting imperfections.

Someone else has better aim--

Or a random bullet plays its part--

For Henry, the cook, falls to the floor

When a bullet pierces his heart.

The busboy--having been grazed in the face--

Shoots into the chaotic river

Of mayhem and bullets. He is killed

When he is shot through the stomach and liver.

Pockmarked with holes, the once-cheerful joint

Is now streaked and splattered with blood.

Survivors will never forget hearing

Each bang and scream followed by a thud.

Everybody gets caught in the crossfire.

The rounds spare neither adult nor child.

(Fifteen people lose their lives

By the time all the reports are compiled.)

When the police arrive at the diner,

In horror they observe the slaughter.

The sheriff screams out in agony

When he notices his blood-covered daughter.

On the wall, a TV is playing.

Somehow it was able to survive.

The news is on; an NRA

Spokesman is being interviewed live,

Saying America needs more guns

And gun regulation is obscene.

Aiming his gun at the TV, the sheriff

Pulls the trigger and blows out the screen.

(11-28-15) By Bob B

What's Up with Marco?

Poor Marco Rubio must have

Flunked his course in American history.

How he rose to his current position

Is for me a real mystery.

The First Amendment strongly prohibits--

In language that is simple and clear--

The establishment of any particular

Faith or religion here

As a state religion. But Rubio says

That "God's rules" supersede our laws.

Obviously, he fails to see

The egregious or salient flaws

In his understanding of the Founding Fathers'

Intent in creating our democracy.

Rubio is under the impression that

We were meant to be a theocracy.

Sorry, Marco, but Thomas Jefferson

Would be both sad and irate

To see you stomp on the First Amendment's

Separation of church and state.

(11-27-15) By Bob B

A Little Elf-Awareness

The elves congregated

In the back room of the shop,

Muttering amongst themselves

And chattering on nonstop.

One elf stood on a table

And scanned the angry crowd.

He raised his hand to shush

The others from getting too loud.

"Fellow elves, be quiet;

We have work to do.

This isn't just a trivial

Elven ballyhoo.

"Santa's expectations

Have risen exceedingly.

He takes no action when

I ask him pleadingly

"For a raise in pay

And better working conditions.

He only chortles and laughs

And speaks of old traditions."

An elf spoke up from the group:

"The reindeer have it made.

We all work our butts off;

But see how little we're paid.

"Why they earn so much

Isn't really clear

When they only work

ONE night of the year!

"Platitudes and promises

Do nothing to assuage

Angry workers. Santa

Must increase our wage!"

"Yes," chimed in another.

"Not keeping up with inflation,

Our pay keeps us living

In serious deprivation.

"Our benefits also haven't

Kept up with the times.

They are slashed while

The cost of insurance climbs.

"I know there's a lot to do,

And I think we're pretty meticulous,

But the hours we're forced to work…

I mean…this is ridiculous!

"And what about part-time elves

Who have little enjoyment

Working for no benefits?

You call that employment?"

Disgruntled, all the workers

Considered taking action

And wondered what to do

To get some satisfaction.

Another elf said, "Santa's

Heavy demands are an onus.

And we elves don't even

Get a Christmas bonus!

"Frankly, it takes every

Ounce of faith I can muster

To think that dear ol' Santa's

Not a union buster!

"Furthermore, there's something

That I've got to say:

We all have to strive

For equality of pay."

"Yay!" the elves shouted

And in unison chanted:

"Equal pay: Yes!

Take nothing for granted!"

The work discussion lingered

Well into the night.

They knew that gaining ground

Would require a fight.

(In thinking about life,

Struggles, work, and fairness,

It doesn't hurt anyone

To have some elf-awareness.)

Eavesdropping here,

You've seen for yourself

That life's not always peachy--

Even for an elf.

Let's just hope that Santa

Doesn't be a jerk

And save a few bucks next year

By outsourcing the work.

(11-25-15) By Bob B

Demagoguery Takes a Stand

Trump says in Jersey in 2001

He heard thousands cheering like hell--

Thousands of people of a certain ethnicity--

When the Twin Towers fell.

He saw and heard the reports in the media--

Or so he claims--the poor, poor man.

You see, there were no reports as such.

His accusations are part of his plan

To stir up fear among Americans--

To build mistrust--to cause a schism

By inciting xenophobic reactions

And arousing destructive nativism.

As Trump ratchets up hateful rhetoric

And panders to people's unfounded fears,

Demagoguery takes a stand

While democracy disappears.

When truth is dispensable, we have a problem.

Whenever Trump talks, I feel more perplexed

And can't help from asking myself,

Whom is he going to go after next?

(11-24-15) By Bob B

Seeking a Compassionate Approach

Let's not talk about closing our gates

While saying that some people shouldn't be here.

If we do, we debase the same

Values that brought you and me here.

Let's not talk about national registries

For any particular people or group.

If we do, we will demolish

Democratic liberties in one fell swoop.

Let's not refer to the world's suffering

Refugees as dogs or barbarians. How shameful!

If we do, we prove to the world

That we Americans are heartless and blameful.

Let's not talk about closing places

Of worship of religions different from yours.

If we do, one day you might

Find a barrier on your church's doors.

Let's not talk about isolating

People in camps or in similar facilities.

If we do, we'll stir up memories

Of past ghastly capabilities.

Let's INSTEAD talk with reason--

With a calm, rational, compassionate mind--

And work together to solve world problems

In a manner worthy of humankind.

Let's INSTEAD use world resources

To educate people, and let us adhere

To kindness and fairness in dealing with issues

And NOT cede to hatred and fear.

(11-21-15) By Bob B

Turkey Blues

I met a turkey the other day

While on my daily walk.

Strange to say, his name was Tom;

And stranger, he could talk!

He wasn't in the greatest mood;

In fact, he looked downhearted.

"Feeling the holiday blues?" I asked.

He said, "Don't get me started.

"You would also be depressed

If you were a turkey

And people saw you as a meal

Or turned you into jerky."

He paused; "By any chance are you

A butcher or a grocer?

For if you are, you are NOT

Getting any closer."

I said, "No way!" to ease his mind.

"You don't have to worry."

When he tried to walk away,

I asked, "Now what's your hurry?"

"You know," he answered, "I'm in hiding--

At least until Thanksgiving.

To have to spend your days like this

Is not what I call living.

"Why are we the chosen ones

To grace your silly table?

It turns us into basket cases--

Neurotic and unstable.

"And don't say 'But your sacrifice:

Consider it an honor.'

I would rather live out my dreams

Instead of being a goner.

"Why not switch to tofu turkey?

They say it's not so bad.

You'd save a lot of lives and make

Many turkeys glad."

Giving him a chance to vent

Seemed to lift his mood.

I tried to be empathetic

And NOT see him as food.

Then he said, "You're going to think

That I'm a nasty fella,

But I think that it's super cool

When folks get salmonella.

"Sorry, but that happens to be

The ONE way that

We can get back at all of you;

I call it tit for tat.

But really, I must dash," he said,

And so I wished him well.

He waddled off to some safe place

As far as I could tell.

It really made me stop and think--

This unexpected meeting--

Whether I fully appreciate

The many things I'm eating.

My hope this year is simple: May

THIS one guy at least,

NOT be on the table when

I eat my holiday feast.

(11-20-15) By Bob B

Masters of Illusion

The sneaky Masters of Illusion perform

Before your very eyes.

Their clever tricks will astound you, so

Watch for each surprise.

Their skillful tactics mesmerize

And seem to entertain.

Caught off guard, you overlook

Their verbal legerdemain.

Artists in deception, they

Require a double take.

Upon scrutinizing them,

You see that they are fake.

They'll pull something out of a hat.

Notice as they grab it:

Hey! A corporate tax loophole!

That is NOT a rabbit!

When caught in their own traps they can

Mysteriously disappear

And suddenly show up again

When the coast is clear.

Cutting things in half occurs

Before the curtain call.

You hardly notice that they're robbing

Peter to pay Paul.

There's always something up their sleeve--

Sort of a bait and switch.

A promise might end up being

Tax cuts for the rich.

Be careful when they smile and say

They want to be your friend.

That's just a ploy; you'll see that

They'll screw you in the end.

Once they pull out their deck of cards,

You see that they've embarked

On a path that leads to greater deception.

(Their cards are usually marked.)

They never fail to beguile and amaze--

These Masters of Illusion.

Just know you're always being duped;

But that's a foregone conclusion.

(11-19-15) By Bob B

Dancing the Dance of Salome

Dancing before Herod and Herodias,

Salome waved her flowing veil,

Which fluttered and whirled through the air around her

And rippled like a silken sail.

"Ah, your daughter dances divinely,"

Herod  said to his calculating wife.

"She dances as though she's walking on air.

I've never seen so much grace in my life."

After a frenzied flurry and flash,

Salome stopped and bowed to the king.

"My dear," said Herod, "what may I give you?

Half of my kingdom? Anything!

"Tell me what your heart is set on.

I'll give you whatever you desire."

Salome looked at her mother, who

Smiled and nodded--her eyes on fire.

"Your incomparable kindness compels me

To answer simply to a king so great.

I ask for one thing only and that

Is John the Baptist's head on a plate."

Said; done. The executioner

Soon returned carrying John's head,

Which the daughter gave to her mother,

Who was delighted that he was dead.

What about those who keep on dancing

Salome's dance? They pivot and swirl,

Contemplating how to placate

The wishes of others while they twirl?

Do they conspire to perpetrate

Division and discord--not unity and peace?

Have love and kindness and thoughtfulness

Given way to heartless caprice?

Are they moved by seductive wiles

As if compassion and reason don't matter?

Do they seek above all things

Vengeance on a silver platter?

(11-18-15) By Bob B

The Writing on the Wall

Republican leaders bemoan the idea

Of leaving their children huge debt.

Therefore, the thought of loans and deficits

Makes them break out in a sweat.

One thing about their concern for their children

Strikes me as very strange:

It's ALL about dollars and figures, of course,

And not about climate change.

Concern for the future is commendable

And makes a lot of sense.

But lowering the debt at the expense of the world

Is a deadly recompense.

I'm not a pessimist; nonetheless,

If I were the town crier,

I'd yell at the top of my voice, "Beware,

Climate change denier!"

You don't have to be a rocket scientist

To recognize mankind's hand

In helping to raise the temperature on Earth.

How much can we withstand?

Though unpreventable, a rise in temperature

Could be temporary

If we act now; otherwise,

The outlook's extremely scary.

Slashing greenhouse-gas emissions

Is a worthy cause.

Let's also encourage clean-energy development

With conscientious laws.

The U.S. and China--the TWO largest

Carbon-polluters around--

Could make a huge difference by leaving

Most fossil fuel in the ground.

Fracking releases methane gas,

More potent than CO₂.

Halting or transforming the fracking process

Wouldn't be hard to do.

The world can achieve renewable energy

With an effort that's united.

Failure to do so would be careless

AND extremely shortsighted.

Say, “STOP complaining about science and debt

And ignoring what will befall

Our kids and grandkids if we ignore

The writing on the wall.”

(11-17-15) By Bob B

Deception's So Cool Till You're Caught

As early as the 1970s,

Exxon's scientists were no fools:

They warned the company of the dire effects

On Earth from burning fossil fuels.

Their warnings didn't fall on deaf ears:

Exxon conducted a clever campaign

To undermine the scientific case

Of climate change and to increase Exxon's gain.

Lying to the people it seems is fair game--

And having to deal with a few protesters.

But wasn't Exxon committing fraud

By keeping the truth from its gullible investors?

Now here's a case that's almost funny:

Floridian Marco Rubio was caught

Charging personal expenses to his

Republican credit card, which ought

To raise some serious questions. And no,

The story's not a mere canard.

It all occurred a few years ago.

He says he just happened to pull the wrong card.

Pull the wrong card? Hmm, let's see…

For movie tickets, occasional meals,

Tiles for his house, a family reunion…

His questionable behavior reveals

A lack of maturity in dealing with money;

And yet he wants us to rein in spending.

(His campaign says he's paid it all back,

But proof of that as yet is pending.)

Exxon and Rubio, truth seekers here

Aren't simply trying to taunt you.

They just want you and others to know

That being deceitful will come back to haunt you.

(11-16-15) By Bob B

The GOP Debate #4

At the GOP debate number four

Was anything new brought to the floor?

Or was the same ol' same ol' discussed?--

Worn-out ideas that are gathering dust.

Trump--still talking about immigrants and his wall--

Acted like Goliath before his fall.

Carson, attempting to avoid the pillory,

Deflected his question to criticize Hillary.

While Kasich loved to boast and brag,

Fiorina sounded more like a nag.

Said Rubio: We need--to save the nation--

An economic transformation;

But when he was criticized by another,

He appeared to want to run home to mother.

Cruz--the scariest of the eight--

Who attended a hate-filled rally of late,

Run by a hate-mongering, Nazi-type devil,

Proved in advance he was not on the level.

Bush and Paul both seemed out of sorts

And got little mileage from their retorts.

The desire to help America is grand,

But there is one thing they must understand:

They'd ALL come off being much less stringent

By NOT catering to the Tea Party contingent.

They'd also prove that they loved democracy

If they stopped supporting a plutocracy.

Don't they know that an answer detracts

From their credibility when they ignore facts?

Nothing enlightening came out of the blue;

No, we really learned nothing new.

(11-11-15) By Bob B

Incompatibility with the Truth

The more some people open their mouth,

The more others wonder how

Those people made it to where they are.

Bewildered, we're all left saying, "Wow!"

For example: Ben Carson,

In talking about his life and youth,

Has demonstrated an incompatible

And awkward relationship with the truth.

Carson seems to push the envelope

To show how much the truth can be stretched.

He also has the bizarre tendency

To make statements that are very far-fetched.

Whether he's "enhancing" events in his life,

Discussing pyramids, prisons and gays,

Or comparing the U.S. to Nazi Germany,

He never ceases to shock and amaze.

We tend to think a neurosurgeon

Would have to be extremely smart.

Carson has--with his outlandish statements--

Blown that stereotype all apart.

He has been commenting for years.

(Read about him in Wikipedia.)

According to him his negativity

Is all the fault of a nasty media.

Are Carson's statements thoughtless blunders

Or truly meant to distract and deceive?

In either case, he shouldn't be president,

For we'd never know what to believe.

(11-7-15) By Bob B

A Bill of Goods

In recent years the economy has improved,

But we're still not out of the woods.

Nonetheless, Republican leaders

Are selling a bill of goods.

To finance tax cuts for billionaires,

They keep demanding more cuts

To Medicaid, Medicare, and Social Security.

What? Are they nuts?

Who can't see that behind their scheme--

This not-so-subtle stricture

Against the well-being of the American people--

Something's wrong with this picture?

While Fortune 500 and country-club

Republicans call the shots,

They're masterfully driving a wedge

Between the haves and have-nots.

Desperation makes strange bedfellows--

Like being in league with the devil.

Catering to Tea Party thugs gives them

No reason to revel.

What does it take to wake people up?

People must open their eyes

And see behind the manipulation;

They must see through the guise.

(11-6-15) By Bob B

Blood and Gore

Did you see Hitchcock's classic

PSYCHO when it was first released?

That was back in 1960--

Before our thirst for blood increased.

Hitchcock teased us with the camera

And was a master at building suspense,

Which for many who saw the movie

Turned out to be too intense.

The unforgettable scene in the shower

Made some viewers too afraid

To shower when staying at home alone

For years after the film had been made.

The intensity of that frightening scene

By modern standards is shallow or thin.

They say there's only one split second

That shows the knife touching skin.

In movies now heads go flying,

Bodies explode, throats are slit,

Blood gushes, sprinkles, and splatters--

The butchery never seems to quit.

Eyes pop out, insides ooze,

Bodies are sometimes split in half

Or burnt to a crisp before our eyes.

After a shriek, the viewers laugh.

Are we more sophisticated

Or just immune to blood and gore?

Scenes that scared us way back when

Do not scare us anymore.

It's refreshing when directors use

Restraint and wisely resist temptations

To show it all and leave so little

To movie viewers' imaginations.

(11-5-15) By Bob B

Halloween Night 2015

Halloween night 2015--

A bevy of goblins and ghouls

Out there in the dark of the night

Met to shape their new rules.

"Let us unite! Let us be one

In our quest to upset the truth."

Their work, they agreed, would come to fruition

In a future polling booth.

"Stir the cauldron of rampant despair;

Throw in confusion and doubt.

Add a pinch of oblivion so no one

Knows what we're about.

Let us deceive with facile duplicity;

Let us trick the unwary.

Above all, don't let them see our true selves.

THAT, fellow ghouls, would be scary!"

Their voices rose in the crisp autumn darkness--

A murky, grumbling chant:

"Hiss. Hiss. Ignorance is bliss.

Woe to them who recant….

"Let us be amorphous and vague;

Let them see what we're not.

Give us the power of doublespeak

To dodge all critical thought."

Werewolves howled. Black cats screeched.

A haunting moan filled the air.

A poor, disoriented bat got tangled

In one ghoul's corn-tassel hair.

"May we strengthen our power to mislead--

To obliterate those who defy us

With vicious attacks based on lies.

We'll let nothing get by us.

"Let us prolong the witching hour.

May it last for a year!

Stir the pot of forgetfulness,"

They all said with a sneer.

Halloween night 2015--

A frightening night to remember.

Beware the ghoul who leads the pack

Next year in November.

(1-11-15) By Bob B