Poor Henry

If Henry Higgins were actually living,

Certainly, he would be unforgiving

When hearing how English is spoken today.

I can imagine what Henry might say:

 

"English speakers who massacre grammar

Ought to be thrown into the slammer,

And there in the slammer they should remain

Until they treat English with much less disdain.

 

"Their usage of pronouns is simply atrocious.

One thing that makes me feel ferocious

Is when they use 'him' when they ought to use 'he,'

Or when they misuse both 'I' and 'me.'

 

"The past tense of verbs is not hard to learn,

And yet it's a practice that some people spurn.

The past tense of 'string'--the verb--is 'strung.'

The past tense of 'sing' is 'sang,' not 'sung.'

 

"And then there's the overuse of 'like.'

Has formal English gone on strike?

'I was like…,' 'He was like…,' 'She was like..' Damn!

That's even hard to diagram!

 

"And what about the subjunctive mood?

When speakers misuse it, I come unglued.

'If I was you…' grates on my ears.

'If I would have known…' brings me to tears.

 

"Some people call it language abuse

And throw up their arms and say, 'What's the use?'

Social media makes it worse.

To some it's a blessing; to me it's a curse.

 

"Unfortunately, rules are broken

Wherever the English language is spoken.

A language will change. Yes, that I know.

Oh, but it's painful to see it change so!"

-by Bob B (3-27-22)

Words to a Russian Soldier (Слова русскому солдату)

Russian soldier, throw down your arms.

Turn around and leave Ukraine.

Are you proud of what you're doing--

Of all the innocent people you've slain?

 

Have you lost your dignity?

Your actions there will be your disgrace.

If you stand in front of a mirror,

How can you look at yourself in the face?

 

Doesn't it faze you when you hear

The cries of the people, day and night?

When homes and schools and hospitals

Are bombed, don't you feel contrite?

 

Have you lost some fellow soldiers

All because of Putin's lies--

Even though he calls his war

A military exercise?

 

Were your buddies' dying bodies

Left behind on the streets to rot?

Can you fathom the repercussions

Of what's going on, or can you not?

 

Are you proud of laying waste

To cities and towns in your neighboring land?

Human compassion: Could that be

Something you don't understand?

 

Stop doing Vladimir Putin's bidding!

Refuse his atrocious orders. Rebel.

Put an end to war crimes there,

And tell the tyrant to go to hell.

-by Bob B (3-24-22)

We All Must Do Our Part

Californians, if you're not being

Water wise, what's the delay?

If you haven't been conserving

Water, you should start today.

 

Both snowpack and reservoir

Levels are extremely low.

Almost all of the state has received

Far too little rain and snow.

 

Cut back now as much as you can.

Whatever you save will make a dent.

Experts want us to cut our water

Use by fifteen to twenty percent.

 

Try to take fewer and shorter showers.

Be aware of every drop

Of water that flows from your faucet. And if

You like to hose off your driveway, stop!

 

We're all being asked to do our part.

If you would rather not conserve,

And companies charge you more for water,

Don't complain that they've got nerve.

 

If you don't take seriously

The fact that we are in a drought,

Then just you wait until you go

To turn on the faucet and nothing comes out.

-by Bob B (3-23-22)

Elmer and Lima

Elmer and Lima, two male penguins

At a zoo in Syracuse, New York,

Are both excited after having

Been paid a visit by the stork.

 

The two had built a nest together.

Obviously, they couldn't lay

An egg, but still, the two birds cherished

Their little home, come what may.

 

A breeding pair kept breaking their eggs,

Which kept them from hatching their own little chick.

And so zookeepers devised a plan

To solve the problem. They had to be quick.

 

They gave a phony egg to the pair.

The REAL egg was placed in the nest

That Elmer and Lima had made together.

The two penguin males were put to the test.

 

The dads have been "exemplary parents,"

Says the zoo director. The two

Do exactly what you'd expect

Successful penguin parents to do.

 

Yay! Hurray for Elmer and Lima!

Once again their story shows

That non-traditional parents can be

Super-parent dynamos.

-by Bob B (3-15-22)

The Dead and Dying

As Putin continues his bloody quest

To ravage Ukraine, we watch in shock

As innocent Ukrainian

Civilians are dying around the clock.

 

We have to constantly ask ourselves,

"Is all of this dying worth it to him?"

If this is part of his ongoing push

To expand his rule, the future looks grim.

 

Announcing phony accusations

Before the UN is part of his plan

To craftily legitimize

His propaganda as much as he can.

 

Of course, conspiracy theorists here

Are siding with Putin--our adversary.

Fox News Channel's Tucker Carlson

Spouts pro-Putin commentary.

 

It's almost as though Carlson has

A means of direct communication

With Putin, whereby the two of them

Can further their mutual adulation.

 

And so they continue to throw spaghetti

Against the wall to see what sticks.

Watch the results as the two of them

Keep throwing lies into the mix.

 

As both Putin and Carlson peddle

Disinformation, people are dying.

How anyone can justify

Such senseless bloodshed is mystifying.

-by Bob b (3-13-22)

Ah, Ukraine!

Ah, Ukraine! It pains the heart

To see what you are going through.

How are you ever going to survive

What Vladimir Putin is doing to you?

 

Homes, schools, and hospitals bombed…

Roughly two million people fleeing…

The country's infrastructure collapsing…

It's hard to believe what we are seeing.

 

All because of an insecure

Madman who rules the country next door--

A madman who lies to his people in order

To justify his cruel war.

 

Will Putin level all the cities?

"Level"--a horrible palindrome!

What will returning Ukrainians find

Standing if they ever come home?

 

Putin rules with an iron fist.

For anybody to stop him is tough.

We have to rely on the Russian people

To say, "We have had enough!"

 

How much more can the rest of the world

Do to help--to ease your pain?

You need much more than cautious concern

To end the anguish, dear Ukraine.

-by Bob B (3-11-22)

Sacrifice

Rising prices might distress us.

It might be harder to make ends meet.

Leaders have to make decisions

For which they're bound to take some heat.

But there are things that come at a price,

And they involve some sacrifice.

 

We know that wars have consequences

That affect the world at large.

We also know that very little

In this world comes free of charge.

Freedom lovers don't think twice

When it comes to sacrifice.

 

Tyrants rise and tyrants fall.

While they're in power, they deface

Democracy with dictatorial

Measures that they rush to embrace.

To curb their power, here's some advice:

Get ready for some sacrifice.

 

If democracy can flourish,

People eager for freedom must strive

To stop the flow of resources

That keep dictatorships alive.

It's not going to be all sugar and spice.

Get used to the concept "sacrifice."

-by Bob B (3-9-22)

War and Invasion

Russian attacks in Ukraine are taking

Such a humanitarian toll

As Putin tries to pull the Russian

People down his rabbit hole.

 

A "military operation"

Is what he calls it. The words are his.

It's actually an invasion, a war.

Call it what it REALLY is.

 

But if you live in Russia and say

The truth, your words will be contested.

Call the move an invasion and you

Will very likely be arrested.

 

In Ukraine, residential

Sections of cities are under attack.

By bombing civilians, Putin hopes

The country's spirit soon will crack.

 

Even though Ukrainian

Resistance under attack is stunning,

Civilians know that it's run or die,

And oftentimes they're killed while running.

 

They say that 1.7 million

Ukrainian refugees have fled.

That seems a better option than staying

And being counted among the dead.

 

The breadbasket of Europe, Ukraine

Provides many countries with wheat.

Now because of the Russian invasion,

There's going to be less for people to eat.

 

Unhinged Putin has his plan

And won't let anything get in the way.

But wars have many consequences,

And war criminals should pay.

-by Bob B (3-8-22)