Sidestep, the Political Cat

Sidestep’s a political cat--

Seldom around when you need him.

But it never fails: he is there

When it's time to feed him.

Early on, his mother knew

He'd be a politician.

As a kitten, he proved to be

A glib rhetorician.

He could talk his siblings out of

Any treat or favor.

He quickly learned what went down fast

And what he needed to savor.

In kitten school, he highly excelled.

Though not an expert reader,

He was good at giving orders,

For he was a natural leader.

When it came to loyalties,

You barely knew where he stood.

He was known as the "cagey one"

Throughout the neighborhood.

Now he thinks that caterwauling

Expresses his constitution,

And he has devoted time to perfecting

The art of circumlocution.

When you think you've pinned him down,

Much to your dismay,

He evades your prying questions

And suddenly slips away.

His donors, extolling his policies,

Are proud to be in his tribe.

What they might call a major donation,

Others call a bribe.

"Donations" consist of a dying lizard,

A tasty, half-eaten mouse,

Or a scrumptious piece of grasshopper

Next to the door of the house.

When the spotlight shines on him,

Oh, how his eyes glisten!

But sometimes he talks way too much

And doesn't like to listen.

He maintains his strategies

Are crucial for survival.

Thus, he looks for ways to smear

Any political rival.

He thinks he is quite the card.

However, opinions are split.

Though liked by some, many think

He's really full of spit.

"You will always win with me!"

Is one of his favorite quotes.

He hopes his fake sincerity

Will win him a lot of votes.

Sidestep runs a messy campaign

As he stands in front of the flag.

He just hopes that no one lets

The cat out of the bag.

-by Bob B (1-31-20)

(images borrowed from online sources)

Berating the Bully

As chief diplomat,

By the way-o,

You're NOTHING but a rat,

Mike Pompeo.

So Trump has become
Your protégé-o.

Sounds like zero-sum,

Mike Pompeo.

Supporters you may please

Every day-o

By acting like a sleaze,

Mike Pompeo.

But most of us see fully--

Let us say-o--

The workings of a bully,

Mike Pompeo.

Kelly° asked about

The game you play-o,

And all you did was shout,

Mike Pompeo.

Calling her a liar,

Not okay-o,

When YOUR pants are on fire,

Mike Pompeo.

Your reputation's in

Disarray-o--

One more thing to spin,

Mike Pompeo.

What are you trying

To convey-o

With your constant lying,

Mike Pompeo?

You and Trump should know--

Come what may-o--

You'll reap what you sow,
Mike Pompeo.

-by Bob B (1-30-20)

°Mary Louise Kelly, NPR reporter

We Call That Justice?

If vital evidence is withheld,

In NO way can a trial be legit.

Such a trial would be a sham;

Our system of justice would take a hit.

If key, relevant witnesses

Cannot testify, then how

Can the outcome of such a case

Be valid? It can't. What's happening now

In the Senate is a travesty.

Finding the truth is not the goal.

Kowtowing Mitch McConnell

Disgustingly has sold his soul.

The president's lawyers focus on

Arguments completely off base.

They try to distract the members of Congress

With info irrelevant to the case.

Still obstructing Congress, Trump

Expects that he will be acquitted,

When in actuality,

He really ought to be committed.

-by Bob B (1-28-20)

In Praise of Cats

Dogs and cats can enhance our lives--

At least when we don't break out in hives,

Constantly sneeze and blow our nose,

And have to experience other woes.

Dogs are very demonstrative,

Quick to obey, and quick to forgive.

Cats, however, are more mysterious,

Less predictable, surely more serious.

It’s true that when a cat’s in heat,

The sounds she makes are far from sweet.

But rub your hand across her fur

And listen to her soothing purr.

Dogs insist on making their mark

By giving a loud, annoying bark.

They scare you with a threatening growl

And drive you crazy when they howl.

Of course, dogs can learn to shake

And sit--both a piece of cake.

They'll fetch, roll over, heel, and stay,

And try to do other things you say.

Cats will hear your every command

But ACT as though they don't understand.

They understand but find it stifling

When asked to do what they find trifling.

If you have a coffee table,

Tie things down if you are able.

Larger dogs will never fail

To knock things off with a wagging tail.

Cats will daintily tiptoe by

And not leave everything awry,

For cats have had much greater success

At demonstrating their finesse.

When dogs perchance let out a fart,

Your nose will crinkle, your eyes will smart.

Cats, however, have much more class;

You hardly know that they've passed gas.

When dogs are out to walk or play,

They'll poop and then just walk away.

With dirt or sand, cats construe

A way to cover up number two.

I have friends who say to me

That dogs make better company--

That dogs provide more dividends

Because they make much better friends.

But I say there should be no shame

If cats make calm restraint their aim.

And I choose friends who in no case

Would slobber on me and lick my face.

Dogs must always get a whiff

Of everything that they can sniff.

One wonders what's going on in their minds

When they smell one another's behinds.

Cats bring manners up a notch:

They don't walk up and sniff your crotch.

They're more subtle and wouldn't dare;

They display more savoir faire.

While dogs don't like to be alone,

Cats…well they do fine on their own.

Dogs out there should NOT be offended;

Any insults were unintended.

I must say I have no regrets

Discussing what I prefer in pets.

Surely, some of you think I'm nuts,

But I still prefer cats to mutts.

-by Bob B (1-27-20)

Protector/Destroyer

Mighty Jupiter, massive, majestic…

Three hundred times the size of planet Earth.

Shaper, molder of many of our planets.

First planet formed at our solar system’s birth.

Your gravitational pull is completely unmatched

By any other planet that revolves around the sun.

Despite over four billion years since your making,

Your strong influence and your work are yet undone.

How do you manage your many, many moons--

Seventy-nine plus on paths around your sphere?

Callisto, Io, Ganymede, Europa…

Do you have a name for our moon down here?

Where would we be if it hadn't been for you?

Would there have been the birth of humankind?

As you rampaged through our solar system,

Is this configuration what you had in mind?

Protecting us from objects farther out in space,

You could also send us a dangerous surprise:

By hurling an asteroid in the earth’s direction,

You have the potential to cause our demise.

You are certainly a mystery of science--

Baffling, inscrutable. Your power, raw.

We here on Earth respect your magnanimity.

We fear you somewhat, yet we look at you with awe.

-by Bob B (1-25-20)

Aphrodite, the Cat of the Stage

Sometimes you see her admiring herself

In the mirror that's hanging next to the shelf.

And when she does it, oh, how she shines!

Is that, dear cat, how you practice your lines?

She seems not to care if we pay attention,

But maybe right here I ought to make mention

That being an actress, she's disinclined

To always reveal what's going on in her mind.

And she'll never, never tell you her age--

Aphrodite, the cat of the stage.

She says, "You know…I'm not one to cuss,

But when I am hungry, I WILL make a fuss."

Yes, she can certainly put on a scene

And act as though she's an importunate queen.

She says, "My dears, if I'm weak or mild,

I'll never drive the audience wild."

That critical scene is repeated each night--

A regular tour de force all right.

Yes, it's best to try to assuage

Aphrodite, the cat of the stage.

Her eyes were surely her greatest feature;

She THUS scoured the town for a drama teacher,

"Who," she says dolefully, "told me one night he

Could make me a star. ME: Aphrodite!"

But as it turned out, ol' Mr. Mittens

Made her instead a mom of eight kittens.

"But," she says, "THAT'S between you and me.

You know that I value my privacy."

It's good to always be on the same page

With Aphrodite, the cat of the stage.

One thing you learn is for her it's the norm

To act a bit slighted when asked to perform.

She must be totally in the mood

Or else she behaves in a manner subdued.

And heaven help you if you are neglectful

Or if her audience is disrespectful.

She'll exit the room like a "cat" out of hell,

And you may not see her for quite a long spell.

You never want to see her rage--

Aphrodite, the cat of the stage.

She sighs and says, "It's such a shame that

Few playwrights write good roles for a cat.

My friends say--when they see me upset--

'Commercials might be a better bet.'

My talents, however, as you might have guessed,

Best fit the stage. But now I must rest."

With that she lifted her nose in the air

And strutted out of the room with great flair.

It's always nice: advice from a sage

Like Aphrodite, the cat of the stage.

-by Bob B (1-24-20)

(photos from online sources)

Acrobat, the Harbor Cat

Something has happened, and I'd be remiss

If I neglected to tell you this:

There's reason to worry, but try to calm down.

Acrobat is back in town!

His ancestors lived at the Long Beach Pike

Starting way back in the days of Ike.

You have a right to be concerned,

For people all over the town have been burned.

Not a very good diplomat

Is Acrobat, the harbor cat.

When you're dining, be on guard:

He doesn't leave a calling card.

Calamari has its appeal,

But sushi is Acrobat's favorite meal.

He'll snatch the salmon right off of the rice.

(He much prefers seafood to mice.)

Before fried cod can touch your lips,

He'll steal the fish but leave the chips.

He doesn't need a welcome mat--

Not Acrobat, the harbor cat.

At barbecues it's always unclear

How certain items can disappear.

So if you are missing a sausage or two,

A chicken leg, or even a few,

It's not too hard to believe, is it,

That Acrobat was paying a visit?

Swiping food for him is a cinch.

But rodents…well…they'll do in a pinch.

Be on the lookout if you are a rat

For Acrobat, the harbor cat.

There are some who can outfox a fox.

Just after dawn on the fishing docks,

Out of the blue, someone yells, "Wait!

What has happened to all my bait?"

While he stands there scratching his head,

They say that behind the cleaning shed,

Hidden among the buckets and mops,

Acrobat sits, licking his chops.

He won't hang around and stay for a chat--

Not Acrobat, the harbor cat.

Now Acrobat, a cagey sort,

Doesn't believe in child support.

He WON'T help raise his progeny

And blames it all on phylogeny.

He's quite the dandy and quite the cad.

But watch out if you make him mad.

I would wager that many regret

Ignoring him as a credible threat.

You really want to avoid a spat

With Acrobat, the harbor cat.

-by Bob B (1-23-20)

(photos from online sources)

The Senate Impeachment Trial

As the House members turn up the dial

At the president's impeachment trial,

If you're keeping score,

You'll see more and more

That the GOP lives in denial.

How can a trial be legit

If Midnight Mitch will not permit

Key witnesses there?

He says, "I don't care.

Who needs a trial? Just acquit."

His reasoning's so hard to parse.

He basically says, "Kiss my arse."

There's SO much at stake,

But HE'S going to make

The trial in the Senate a farce.

-by Bob B (1-22-20)

America the What?

(This poem can be sung to the song "America the Beautiful.")

America, what's happened here?

You're covered by a cloud.

We're now constrained to shed a tear,

For how can we be proud?

America, you've offered us

Such wonders since your birth.

But now you see how sadly we

Have failed to prove our worth.

America, from east to west

Your history reveals

That in the past we once were blessed

With passionate ideals.

But now we can observe that we

Are burdened by extremes.

Must we regress from hopefulness?

What's happened to our dreams?

America, since early days,

We've grown from cause to cause.

But now we watch as lawmakers

Find ways to bend the laws.

Integrity was once admired,

Equality a goal.

But greed and hate won't make us great.

What's happened to our soul?

America, we'd hoped that you

Would loudly sing your song--

That colors true--red, white, and blue--

Would carry us along.

A crisis looms, the likes of which

We haven't had before.

The case is grave; we've got to save

This land from shore to shore.

-by Bob B (1-21-20)

A Tale of the Porcupines*

The frigid winter was colder than ever.

The porcupines, both young and old,

Were deeply concerned, for animal friends

Were dying because of the bitter cold.

Therefore, they decided that

It would behoove them all to form

A close-knit group. Huddled together,

They could keep one another warm.

It seemed like a good idea at first,

But then they agreed with unanimity

That being so close was not working out:

Their quills pricked porcupines in proximity.

But later they learned that separated,

They were worse off, for no denying,

Unable to keep one another warm,

The freezing porcupines were dying.

If they planned to survive the winter,

They had to act, and so they decided

That being banded together was more

Beneficial than being divided.

And so they grouped together again,

Realizing that they could endure

The little jabs from the others' quills,

But they would survive the winter for sure.

The moral: when we look at life

And consider all our interconnections,

It's best if we can learn to live

With one another's imperfections.

Another way to look at the story:

Life can be painful, but we should strive

To put up with all the pricks in life

If we truly want to survive.

-by Bob B (1-20-20)

*A popular tale (author unknown) retold here in verse

The D.T. Playbook: Chapter 8 (Expanding Your Power)

Expanding your power is essential

For you to rule with an iron fist.

Remember that you and truth and honor

Simply cannot coexist.

Surround yourself with the most unethical

People you know. One result

Is you will find that that is a much

Simpler way to build your cult.

Appoint an attorney general who

Will back you up no matter what.

He'll investigate your critics;

In short, he'll help you kick their butt.

You can then intimidate

Members of Congress, for you'll find

That with the AG's help they'll be

More malleable. Bear that in mind.

Once you've got your toadies in Congress,

Gone is the separation of powers.

You'll get away with anything.

Their blind devotion will water your flowers.

As your power increases and people

Fear you more, you'll know fully

All the advantages of being

A crass, crude, obnoxious bully.

The groveling sycophants around you--

Though they appear weak and feckless--

Will always be willing to give you a pass,

Even if your behavior is reckless.

You can follow the lead of friend

Vladimir Putin, for he understands

What it's like for a leader to have

So much power in his hands.

Oh, I love democracy--

Something that I can exploit and abuse

And manipulate to give myself

Even more power if I so choose.

-by Bob B (1-18-20)

Clicks and Likes

With its trusty algorithm,

Facebook prioritizes for you

Posts and ads so that you see

What it THINKS you want to view.

Bold and sassy, the company

Doesn't even apologize

When certain Facebook users receive

Political ads that are filled with lies.

By the way, are you a purist,

Whom the trend might disturb

To see "like" used as a noun

And the word "friend" used as a verb?

The world today revolves around

"Clicks" and "Likes" on the Internet.

People become bizarrely obsessed

With how many "Clicks" or "Likes" they get.

Email to many is cumbersome,

But if there's something you want me to see,

There's ONE way to ensure that I see it:

Email or text the info to me.

-by Bob (1-17-20)

Do Not Kill Your Hummingbird

If you care about our friends,

Sound the alarm and spread the word:

Do not let your hummingbird feeder

Kill your visiting hummingbird.

What a pleasure it is to watch

The little critters hover and dip

And dart and dash and land on our feeders,

Looking for sweet nectar to sip!

Enjoying their daily visits, we want

To offer help to our little pals.

But if we're negligent, we might

Be killing the little guys and gals.

The nectar in your feeder must

Be changed every five days or so.

Otherwise, the birds could die.

This is very important to know.

If a fungus grows in the nectar,

There will be a complication:

The birds will sip it, their tongues will swell,

And then they'll die of cruel starvation.

I don't mean to make you depressed

Or increase your apprehensions,

But sometimes human beings can cause

Harm despite our best intentions.

-by Bob B (1-16-20)

Listen to Your Heart

(Try singing this poem to the tune of Bob Dylan's song "Blowin' in the Wind.")

How many lies can a president tell

Until people say, “That’s enough”?

How often can one man play a hard game

Until someone else calls his bluff?

How long till people stand up to hate

And give it a fitting rebuff?

The thing you must do is listen to your heart;

You must try to listen to your heart.

How many clouds must darken the sky

Before we can feel the cold rain?

How long must people suffer in life

Until we can feel their pain?

How can a leader within a short time

Destroy what is hard to regain?

The thing you must do is listen to your heart;

You must try to listen to your heart.

How many laws can a president break

Until Congress tells him, "You're fired!"?

How can a leader have so many duds

Among the people he's hired?

What does it take for the voters to say,

"We've had it; your time has expired"?

The thing you must do is listen to your heart;

You must try to listen to your heart.

-by Bob B (1-15-20)

Why It Matters

Elections do have consequences.

Apathy is detrimental.

Putting in office the wrong person

Is not merely coincidental.

Some people say, "No problem

If Donald Trump abuses his power.

He's giving me exactly what

I want, so why should I be sour?"

Other people--regarding their jobs--

Complacently say, "I’ve got work.

So why shouldn’t I vote for him,

Even though the man is a jerk?”

Many might say, “I don’t care

How he acts or how much he lies.

MY life is going smoothly.

That's not something I'll jeopardize."

Regarding election meddling by

Foreign powers, people say,

"If it helps the president

To get elected, fire away."

"So what if White nationalists

Infect the White House," some insist.

"Don't racists and bigots and haters

Also have the right to exist?"

People say, "Trump has an ego

And acts like a child if no one feeds it.

So what if we've lost respect in the world.

To hell with respect! Bah, who needs it?"

And then there are also those who believe

Every word he utters, as though

They can't see that the more he speaks,

The more we know what he doesn't know.

Yes, elections matter a lot.

Know what's real; know what's fake.

Our future is hanging in the balance;

The soul of our nation is what's at stake.

-by Bob B (1-14-20)

Pills Pills Pills

There's a guy who always was

The paragon of health.

His fitness was a thing he treasured

Even more than wealth.

He said that exercise and eating

Well will keep you strong.

If he got a cold it never

Lasted very long.

He took daily vitamins

And supplements galore.

His favorite place to shop in seemed

To be the health food store.

He said that he'd take drugs but only

As a last resort.

Well, now he's taking pills, but they

Are of a different sort.

He takes a pill for his thyroid and

One to help him sleep.

There's one he takes for arthritis;

That one isn't cheap.

He takes one for anxiety--

To elevate his mood.

Some he takes on an empty stomach,

And some he takes with food.

He takes a pill for cholesterol;

Another one's for his heart.

All the different shapes and colors

Help him tell them apart.

The one he takes for his prostate helps him

When he has to pee.

Now without his stash of pills

He wonders where he'd be.

So, if you're down on drugs, I think

This gentleman will contend

That certain medications help you

Avoid an early end.

The only thing, he says, is meds

Are not a problem as such,

But why the hell do some meds have to

Cost so very much?

On ONE hand we can say that drugs

Might help us to survive.

And yet because of side effects,

We're lucky to be alive.

If you think that you've been lucky,

You might have been. That's true.

But when you reach a certain age,

THIS might happen to you:

You MIGHT need a pill for your thyroid and

One to help you sleep.

You MIGHT need one for arthritis;

Some of them aren't cheap.

You MIGHT need one for anxiety--

To elevate your mood.

Be sure to read the directions because

Some you take with food.

You MIGHT need a pill for cholesterol,

Or maybe one for your heart.

All the different shapes and colors

Help you tell them apart.

Men, your prostate pill will help you

When you have to pee.

Ladies, you'll take something else;

You WON'T get off scot-free.

Yes, without our stash of pills

I wonder where we'd be.

-by Bob B (1-13-20)

Consequences

All would be quite different today

If we hadn't interfered

In Iranian politics

In the 1950s. What is weird--

Or maybe isn't when you consider

How the world functions--is how

What we did way back then

Is coming back to haunt us now.

Helping to orchestrate a coup,

Our CIA helped a man--

Mohammad Reza, the Shah--return

To be the leader of modern Iran.

The Shah moved the country forward,

But there was also a huge increase

Of harsh acts to stifle dissent

By the Shah's secret police.

The 70s brought a revolution.

The people rose up, and then voilà:

Iran became an Islamic Republic

And said good riddance to the Shah.

What we have now is a mess:

Iran wants to define its role

In the Middle East, while we have

A leader with no impulse control.

Ignoring possible repercussions

And thinking he knows so much more

Than all the experts, he could likely

Involve us in a senseless war.

A recipe for disaster? Yes.

The president MUST be stopped in his tracks.

A sense of diplomacy and brains

Are two important things he lacks.

-by Bob B (1-11-20)

The Curse of Hypocrisy

What a curse: hypocrisy!

Oh, when all is said and done,

Our president doesn’t serve the people

But looks after number one.

The hypocrite says he wants a clean

Environment, and yet he'll dare

To serve the many companies that

Pollute the water and poison the air.

The current admin would rather give

More benefits to the heads

Of big pharma instead of helping

People desperate for the meds.

The right to vote is precious, but still

He helps those who have an obsession

Not with serving American voters

But serving instead voter suppression.

Catering to religious groups,

He wants to see his ratings spike,

And yet his uncouth words and lies

Are not very Christianlike.

When he doesn't get his way,

He seeks immediate retribution,

Not by obeying the law but by

Tromping on the Constitution.

When he campaigned, he complained

About Hillary's emails, and yet

The man himself remains a giant

National security threat.

Is the president motivated

Mainly by power or greed, or both?

When he was sworn into office, did

He take the Hypocritic Oath?

-by Bob B (1-10-20)