Snake Oil for Sale

Step right up, folks. You will see

That I have a product that's basically free.

The only cost--the only expense--

Is sacrificing your common sense.

 

Though SOME people give them a different name,

Conspiracy theories are my game.

They're quite easy to get behind

If you have a paranoid mind.

 

Misinformation can cause confusion

By relegating truth to the world of illusion

And make you think that wrong is right--

That white is black and black is white.

 

The more outrageous, the more far-fetched,

The more bizarrely the truth can be stretched,

The more my theories will gather force.

Yep, that's just a matter of course.

 

From PizzaGate to voter fraud,

Conspiracy theories--no matter how odd--

Will spread across the Internet,

Seeking out every space cadet.

 

Some of the craziest ones we've seen

Are focused on the spread of COVID-19.

The deep state myths are other ones;

Or the Dems are out to get your guns.

 

The president--one of my biggest fans--

Is such an asset to my plans.

As long as ignorance continues to grow,

My stories will continue to flow.

-by Bob B (7-29-20)

Still Hanging Around

Hey, everybody! Just in case

You thought I was going away…WRONG!

There is so much more I want

To do before I say, "So long!"

 

I'm sure by now you know my name.

Some people call me Mr. C.--

The "C" being short for Coronavirus.

You must have seen me on TV.

 

I'm a social kind of guy.

Where there are crowds, I can be found.

You can do your best to ignore me

And act as though I'm not around,

 

But I rely on your assistance,

Whether you want to meet me or not.

I can easily find you if

You want me to. Give it a shot.

 

I like traveling around the world--

From country to country and city to city.

If I go before you get

The chance to meet me, more's the pity.

 

"Look what you have done to our

Economy," people say.

Economies, borders, age groups, gender:

I let nothing get in my way.

 

My meetings with some are quite protracted;

With some the encounter is short and sweet.

Excuse me now, for I must go.

I've got many more people to meet.

-by Bob B (7-24-20)

COVID's in the Air

(This poem can be sung to the melody of "Strangers in the Night," by Bert Kaempfert, Charles Singleton, and Eddie Snyder)

COVID'S in the air.

It's so distressing.

Though we know it's there,

It keeps us guessing.

Keep avoiding crowds.

That's what is best to do.

Don't let down your guard.

Just keep on trying.

It is not that hard.

(And it beats dying.)

We must do our part;

The country counts on you.

We know droplets fall

When we talk and yell--

Especially aerosol--

When we laugh as well.

We have learned so much.

Safety is--as many say--

A scarf or simple mask away.

And since it's in the air

When we are talking,

And maybe lingers there

When we are walking,

We must all beware,

For COVID's in the air.

Safety is--as many say--

A scarf or simple mask away.

Since it's in the air

When we are talking,

And maybe lingers there

When we are walking,

We must all beware,

For COVID's in the air.

-by Bob B (7-12-20)

How Does He Know? 'Cause Putin Told Him So (Part II)

Trump says there's no reason we

Should keep our troops in Germany.

How does he know? 'Cause Putin told him so.

The G7 summit would be great

If Vladimir Putin could make it G8.

How does Trump know? 'Cause Putin told him so.

It never seems to matter

What Putin says or does.

Trump will always back

The tyrant just because.

Trump thinks it would be a boon

For Putin to visit the White House soon.

How does he know? 'Cause Putin told him so.

Bounties on our troops in Afghanistan

Couldn't, says Trump, be Russia's plan.

How does he know? 'Cause Putin told him so.

-by Bob B (7-2-20)