Come and Visit Guantánamo Bay!

How would you like to come and stay

At our 5-star hotel at Guantánamo Bay?

Come, relax, and enjoy the view,

Soft sand, clean beaches, and blue water, too.

Don’t bring your suits or your fancy clothes;

You won’t have any need for those.

We have outfits to fit every size

And ALL in matching colors. Surprise!

Your safety’s of utmost importance so we

Have ways to keep you as safe as can be.

We have added special structures throughout

To keep all the nosy riff-raff out,

And not, as some scoundrels like to spin,

To keep our lovely hotel guests in.

So how would you like to come and stay

At our 5-star hotel at Guantánamo Bay?

You say you like to swim in the ocean

In places where there is little commotion?

You say that you like water sports, too?

Have we got the perfect activity for you:

Enough buckets of water to fill a fjord,

Accompanied by your own special board.

If the darkness scares you from sunset till dawn,

We have some rooms where the light’s always on.

And there’s no need to buy CDs at our shop:

WE’VE got rooms where we blast music nonstop.

Can you imagine a better deal?

Everyone says this resort is unreal!

So come on! Please join us and have a good stay

At our 5-star hotel at Guantánamo Bay.

You say you’re into fine dining and such;

Well, one thing that you’re going to like very much

Is knowing that your stay will also include

Your meals. Yes, there’s no extra charge for the food!

If reading’s your thing, then it’s guaranteed:

You’ll find you’ll have hours and hours to read.

In an effort to help discourage inquisitors,

We’ll make sure you’re not bothered by visitors.

Try to imagine a better vacation:

A tropical paradise with no cessation!

You’ll wonder how anyone could possibly conceive

Of this place that you will find so hard to leave.

We’re happy to have you, so come on and stay
At our 5-star hotel at Guantánamo Bay.

By Bob B (4-2-14)