Looking for a job?
One that's really nice?
Then step right up and join the team
Simply known as ICE.
Got a record maybe
That's disqualifying?
That's no problem. Just be good
At bullying and lying.
Cannot pass a drug test?
Something's got you hooked?
That's all right. We will let
That be overlooked.
Are the academic
Requirements too tough?
We'll take that into account
And waive them. Good enough?
The physical requirements:
Too hard? That's okay.
When you do your pull-ups, we
Will look the other way.
Is one of your talents
Harassment? Then, of course,
You will fit right in, for you
Can use excessive force.
The ICE directors want
You to serve with pride
While YOU'RE inflicting pain upon
The people nationwide.
If you have a conscience,
Leave it, please, at home.
You won't need it when you serve
The likes of Kristi Noem.°
If roughing people up
Lifts your spirits high,
Then ICE needs you to terrorize
The nation. Come apply.
-by Bob B (10-24-25)
°Secretary of Homeland Security
