(This poem could be sung to the melody of Gilbert and Sullivan's "When I Was a Lad," from the H.M.S. PINAFORE. There are grammatical irregularities for obvious reasons.😉)
TRUMP:
When I was a kid, I learned from Dad
To stay on top and to never get had.
I learned the pleasures that our wealth could bring,
And he often called me "killer" and he called me "king."
SYCOPHANTS:
And he often called him "killer" and he called him "king."
TRUMP:
Since Daddy called me "king" it really helped somehow
For me to be the ruler of the country now.
SYCOPHANTS:
Since Daddy called him "king" it really helped somehow
For him to be the ruler of the country now.
TRUMP:
I learned quite fast. My goal? Get rich quick!
Some fraud can be a plus, for it does the trick.
I got my way, or I would come unglued.
And if people gave me problems, piece of cake: I sued.
SYCOPHANTS:
And if people gave him problems, piece of cake: he sued.
TRUMP:
I grew so rich and famous that the crowds said "Wow!"
So therefore I'm the ruler of the country now.
SYCOPHANTS:
He grew so rich and famous that the crowds said "Wow!"
So therefore he's the ruler of the country now.
TRUMP:
I learned very quickly all the tricks of the trade:
A boss saves money if folks aren't paid.
I learned so fast how to crush dissent,
And I SOON became an unrelenting president.
SYCOPHANTS:
And he SOON became an unrelenting president.
TRUMP:
Since ALL my fans adore me, I will take a bow.
They like that I'm the ruler of the country now.
SYCOPHANTS:
Since ALL his fans adore him, he will take a bow.
They're happy he's the ruler of the country now.
TRUMP:
A manifesto that is helping me survive
Is known as Project 2025.
Oh, the project helps expand my role:
I'm a president who wants complete control.
SYCOPHANTS:
He's a president who wants complete control.
TRUMP:
And so criticism I won't allow
Because I am the ruler of the country now.
SYCOPHANTS:
And so criticism he won't allow
Because he is the ruler of the country now.
TRUMP:
For admin teams, it makes no sense
To put TOO much emphasis on competence.
They MUST be loyal and kowtow to you,
And support you when you're asking "What would Putin do?"
SYCOPHANTS:
And support you when you're asking "What would Putin do?"
TRUMP:
My DEAR friend Putin is the cat's meow.
He helped me be the ruler of the country now.
SYCOPHANTS:
His DEAR friend Putin is the cat's meow.
He helped him be the ruler of the country now.
TRUMP:
So all out there, please listen to my plea:
If you WANT to get to the top just like me,
You should toss out your conscience, be as cold as ice,
And never say you're wrong or be contrite or nice.
SYCOPHANTS:
And never say you're wrong or be contrite or nice.
TRUMP:
If YOU'RE more like me--yes, holier than thou--
Then you could all be rulers just like I am now.
SYCOPHANTS:
If WE'RE more like him--yes, holier than thou--
Then we could all be rulers just like he is now.
-by Bob B (8-30-25)
