They Can't Take My iPhone

"They say I shouldn't use my phone

Because it's unsecure.

Anyone who tells me that

Is full of cow manure.

This talk about encryption--

That's a lot of bunk.

The thought of them taking my phone

Puts me in a funk.

"Some in my administration

Say that they foresee

Trouble if foreign spies are really

Listening to me.

Advisers fear that I might share

Secrets, but I say,

That's not easy 'cause I don't under-

Stand them anyway.

"How I love my cell phone

Because I love to tweet!

If they confiscated my phone,

I'd feel incomplete.

Having all my contacts in my

Cell phone really rocks.

I can get advice from all my

People down at Fox.

"I don't want my calls logged.

It really takes some balls

For my Chief of Staff to want to

Monitor my calls.

That's why I prefer to use

My private phone instead.

Who would even want to try

To get inside my head?

"Oh, Hillary's private server?

That's a different story.

Everything she does is in

A different category.

From rules that govern others

I feel I'm exempt.

That has never made my fans

Regard me with contempt.

"So they can't take my iPhone.

That would not be nice.

They say, 'Donald, it's a perfect

Location tracking device.

Spies collect your data

And know each confidant.'

I say, I'm the president,

And I'll do what I want!"

-by Bob B (10-26-18)