To Have Their Cake and Eat It, Too

It seems as though our friends on the Right

Are still eager to pursue

Policies that show that they want

To have their cake and eat it, too.

 

Take taxes, for example.

They want voters to buy their pitch

On how they're lowering taxes, but

The biggest tax breaks go to the rich.

 

Fighting vaccine and mask mandates,

They chatter on and will not drop it.

They want to get past COVID; however,

They aren't really trying to stop it.

 

They are seeing the damaging

Effects of extreme weather conditions,

But when we talk clean energy,

They don't budge from their positions.

 

Ironically, voter integrity

Is an idea that they promote,

And yet all across the country

They're working hard to suppress the vote.

 

They praise America's history

Of freedom and democracy,

And yet they kiss the ring of man

Who leans toward autocracy.

 

They cannot have it both ways.

Democratic values matter.

Between thuggish power and freedom,

Americans should choose the latter.

-by Bob B (10-19-21)

I Was Like...

"I was like, Wow, THAT is crazy!

He was like, There's no parallel.

I was like, That is SO bizarre.

He was like, Yeah, what the hell?

 

"So I was like, Why don't people get it?

He was like, They are SO deranged.

I was like, What is happening here?

He was like, Weird how people have changed.

 

"I was like, I am flabbergasted.

It hit me like a ton of bricks.

He was like, Yeah, that's so strange.

But that's how people get their kicks.

 

"I was like, Couldn't they see it coming?

He was like, Yeah, give me a break!

I was like, What were they thinking of?

He was like, THAT really takes the cake!

 

"I was like, What are we going to do?

What will it take to get it together?

He was like, Well, if we do,

Knock me over with a feather."

 

What's going on with the English language

With the overuse of "like"?

It seems that specificity

And clarity have gone on strike.

-by Bob B (10-19-21)

Fools: a Rap

Every day it seems that we hear on the news

That someone else has a few loose screws:

Anti-vaxxers causing disruptions on our planes.

Trying to be obnoxious, they go to great pains.

Defying mask rules, they are picking fights,

Intimidating passengers and delaying flights.

Physically and verbally abusive, they don't care

If they cause disturbance on the ground or in the air.

 

Foolishly trying to assert their independence,

They spit at, and yell at, and curse at flight attendants,

Who must bear the burden of all the lunacy.

It also is a serious threat to you and me.

Recently, we've heard that a certain nutcase

Punched a flight attendant right in the face,

Knocking out two teeth! Another commandeered

The plane's PA system. Boy, was that weird!

 

Some unruly passengers have so turned up the heat

That they have had to be duct taped to their seat.

To spread misinformation about our vaccines,

Some of them resort to using any means.

Screeching and preaching, expressing their defiance

Of epidemiologists who rely on science,

Some of these crazies seem to be intent

On being as obnoxious as the former president.

 

It's so sad to see that we have come to this.

It makes a person wonder what has gone amiss.

Why do some people choose to reject

Behavior toward others that involves more respect?

Fools! They show a lack of common sense.

Fools are the ones who come to their defense.

Fools! I can't think of any other word--

Fools!--to describe behavior so absurd.

 

THEY'RE FOOLS!

-by Bob B (10-18-21)

Keep Dancing

You're at a party when--déjà vu--

The music changes from out of the blue.

You might miss a step, but whatever you do

Keep dancing.

 

Meteorologists predict a storm.

But inside all is comfy and warm.

If you want to stay true to form,

Keep dancing.

 

All through the evening your friends come and go.

That is the nature of parties, you know.

Your feet might grow tired; even so,

Keep dancing.

 

Some say life's a party.

At least we can pretend.

We know that at some point

Parties have to end.

 

You look at the clock; the hour is late.

But your time of departure can wait.

Why leave the party when you're feeling great?

Keep dancing.

-by Bob B (10-17-21)

Appalling News

Nonsense from the folks on the Right

Continues to plague us every day.

It's as though we're all on a stage,

Caught in the midst of a nihilist play.

 

A Texas school administrator

Told her staff to interfuse

Books about the Holocaust

With books containing opposing views!

 

Here's what that means: if they have books

About the Holocaust on their racks,

Opposing books must be included,

Or Holocaust books must be given the ax.

 

When going in that direction, people

Are treading on dangerous territory,

For when we talk of the Holocaust,

There are NOT two sides to the story.

 

Other appalling news: Trump

Is coopting the GOP

By taking it hostage so he can secure

His role as a future nominee.

 

All Republicans who fail

To push his giant election lie

When they run in future races

Are going to have to say bys,

And he will just sit back and gloat.

 

There's something we must understand:

The soul of our nation is in peril.

All it takes is a little poison

To ruin the water that fills a barrel.

-by Bob B (10-16-21)

It's a Female's World

It’s a female’s world.

Well, for emus it is.

Once her egg's been laid,

The rest of the work is HIS.

Her mate, who's already built

Their nest, sits on the eggs

And barely even gets to

Rise to stretch his legs.

He doesn't even drink,

Eat, or leave the nest.

His only nourishment

Is morning dew at best.

Meanwhile, the female

Doesn't hesitate

To say good-bye to her beau

And look for another mate.

After the eggs have hatched,

The male takes care of the chicks

By teaching them how to perform

The usual emu tricks,

Such as how to eat

And how to socialize

With all the other little

Emu girls and guys.

Soon the process will start

All over again.

I wonder if he envies

The life of an emu hen.

-by Bob B (10-14-21)

On Saving Democracy

There were times when we at least thought
The United States was deserving of praise.
We served as a model for many nations.
What has happened to those days?
 
Now we're at the threshold of
A growing movement that seems to be
A direct assault on what we've stood for
And a threat to our democracy.
 
How we used to criticize
Strongman rulers worldwide
Who stripped their people of their rights!
Oh, how we were horrified!
 
Now people around the world
Look at us in disbelief
And ask themselves how all of us
Are not overcome with grief.
 
People who lived in autocracies
And fled because they lived in fear,
Look around wide-eyed and ask,
"What the hell is happening here?"
 
Insurrectionists being called
Patriots? Voter suppression?
Overturning election results?
A personality cult obsession?
 
Immigrants becoming scapegoats?
People challenging safe elections?
Paramilitary thugs?
Folks with suspicious foreign connections?
 
People threatening health care workers
And thinking there's nothing wrong with that?
The breaking down of institutions?
Voters preferring an autocrat?
 
Apathy will be our downfall;
Our complacency will as well.
There won't be a clang of freedom
From our silenced Liberty Bell.
 
If we do not strive to preserve
Democracy and make that our aim,
We will suffer the consequences
And have only ourselves to blame.

-by Bob B (10-12-21)

Mother Goose Meets 2021

(Based on "THERE WAS AN OLD WOMAN WHO LIVED IN A SHOE")

↓

When Democrats mention the national debt,

The Republicans panic and they get so upset.

When THEY'RE in control, do they ever balk?

It's just when the Dems are in pow'r that they squawk.

 

(Based on "HICKORY, DICKORY, DOCK")

↓

Lickity, splickity, splat!

L. Boebert's° such a brat.

She thinks it's fun

To flash her gun.

Lickity, splickity, splat!

 

°Republican Representative from Colorado

 

(Based on "JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL")

↓

Trump and Mel no longer dwell

In our capital city.

They've gone south, and word of mouth

Is that they're sitting pretty.

 

Trump will sing, "Please kiss my ring!"

To all who come to visit.

He STILL thinks HE'S in charge. Oh, please!

That's REALLY not funny, is it?

 

(Based on "THERE WAS A CROOKED MAN")

↓

There was a crooked con, and he had a crooked scheme.

He used some crooked tactics to achieve his crooked dream.

He had some crooked friends who helped his crooked plan.

But still he lost the race--that crazy, crooked man.

 

(Based on "HUMPTY DUMPTY SAT ON A WALL")

↓

Giuliani couldn't resist.

Tipping the bottle till he got pissed.

He claimed that our voting process was marred.

Due to his lying, he should be disbarred.

 

(Based on "LITTLE BO-PEEP")

↓

Ol' Michael Pence had enough sense

To certify the election.

Although he came 'round, later he found

He'd lost his hero's affection.

 

Though Michael Pence sometimes sounds dense,

Who knows what will fulfill him?

The man didn't get so very upset

When rioters threatened to kill him.

 

Will he kowtow, grovel and bow

Before a man who is shameless?

He probably will. That's HIS bitter pill,

For he himself is not blameless.

 

(Based on "BAA, BAA, BLACK SHEEP")

↓

Blah, blah, Ted Cruz,°

Have you any guts?

I don't think so since you're nuts.

Why don't you take off

And fly to Cancún

And stay down there forever?

And please do it soon!

 

°Republican Senator from Texas

 

-by Bob B (10-11-21)