When I Was a Kid...

(This poem could be sung to the melody of Gilbert and Sullivan's "When I Was a Lad," from the H.M.S. PINAFORE. There are grammatical irregularities for obvious reasons.😉)

 

TRUMP:

When I was a kid, I learned from Dad

To stay on top and to never get had.

I learned the pleasures that our wealth could bring,

And he often called me "killer" and he called me "king."

 

SYCOPHANTS:

And he often called him "killer" and he called him "king."

 

TRUMP:

Since Daddy called me "king" it really helped somehow

For me to be the ruler of the country now.

 

SYCOPHANTS:

Since Daddy called him "king" it really helped somehow

For him to be the ruler of the country now.

 

TRUMP:

I learned quite fast. My goal? Get rich quick!

Some fraud can be a plus, for it does the trick.

I got my way, or I would come unglued.

And if people gave me problems, piece of cake: I sued.

 

SYCOPHANTS:

And if people gave him problems, piece of cake: he sued.

 

TRUMP:

I grew so rich and famous that the crowds said "Wow!"

So therefore I'm the ruler of the country now.

 

SYCOPHANTS:

He grew so rich and famous that the crowds said "Wow!"

So therefore he's the ruler of the country now.

 

TRUMP:

I learned very quickly all the tricks of the trade:

A boss saves money if folks aren't paid.

I learned so fast how to crush dissent,

And I SOON became an unrelenting president.

 

SYCOPHANTS:

And he SOON became an unrelenting president.

 

TRUMP:

Since ALL my fans adore me, I will take a bow.

They like that I'm the ruler of the country now.

 

SYCOPHANTS:

Since ALL his fans adore him, he will take a bow.

They're happy he's the ruler of the country now.

 

TRUMP:

A manifesto that is helping me survive

Is known as Project 2025.

Oh, the project helps expand my role:

I'm a president who wants complete control.

 

SYCOPHANTS:

He's a president who wants complete control.

 

TRUMP:

And so criticism I won't allow

Because I am the ruler of the country now.

 

SYCOPHANTS:

And so criticism he won't allow

Because he is the ruler of the country now.

 

TRUMP:

For admin teams, it makes no sense

To put TOO much emphasis on competence.

They MUST be loyal and kowtow to you,

And support you when you're asking "What would Putin do?"

 

SYCOPHANTS:

And support you when you're asking "What would Putin do?"

 

TRUMP:

My DEAR friend Putin is the cat's meow.

He helped me be the ruler of the country now.

 

SYCOPHANTS:

His DEAR friend Putin is the cat's meow.

He helped him be the ruler of the country now.

 

TRUMP:

So all out there, please listen to my plea:

If you WANT to get to the top just like me,

You should toss out your conscience, be as cold as ice,

And never say you're wrong or be contrite or nice.

 

SYCOPHANTS:

And never say you're wrong or be contrite or nice.

 

TRUMP:

If YOU'RE more like me--yes, holier than thou--

Then you could all be rulers just like I am now.

 

SYCOPHANTS:

If WE'RE more like him--yes, holier than thou--

Then we could all be rulers just like he is now.

-by Bob B (8-30-25)

Declaring War

It looks as though the president--

The dull and tedious bore--

Has unilaterally decided

That he's declaring war.

 

War on what or whom? you wonder.

The man who thinks he's king

Appears to be declaring war

On almost everything:

 

War on truth; war on judges

Who don't agree with him;

War on any critic who doesn't

Support his every whim;

 

War on immigrants' rights and war

On aid to people in need;

War on any measures that

Restrict corporate greed;

 

War on DEI, or course,

And war on voters' rights;

War on historic records that he

Thinks are unfair to Whites;

 

War on the rule of law, and war

Also on reason and science;

War on wokenesss, because he doesn't

Tolerate defiance;

 

War on schools with high Hispanic

Enrollment; war on the press;

When he imposes his tariffs, then war

On countries that don't acquiesce;

 

War on clean-air regulations

And health protections for sure,

For he's defunding research, which

For him has no allure;

 

War on an independent Department

Of Justice and FBI,

For now they jump when he says "Jump!"

And do not ask him "Why?”;

 

War on public broadcasting

Which gives him fits of pique;

War on ANY station that

Allows his critics to speak;

 

War on cities, particularly

Those in states that are blue;

War on you if you perhaps

Are LGBTQ;

 

War on us, for he is using

Our troops against us. His orders:

Troops have the right to stop and question

Anyone near our borders.

 

Especially on Democrats

War has been declared,

But he'll go after anyone.

Very few are spared.

 

It's really war on democracy

As our rights disappear.

I never thought I'd see the day

That THAT would happen here.

 

There seems to be no end in sight

Of this continuing saga.

The Statue of Liberty now wears

A red cap saying "MAGA."

-by Bob B (8-23-25)

Send in the National Guard

Crime is up in D.C., says Trump,

And so he wants the National Guard

To take control of our capital.

Typical Trump: no holds barred.

 

Crime is actually DOWN in D.C.,

But there's a place where crime runs rife--

Where it is basically par for the course--

Where it is merely a way of life--

 

Where sex-traffickers congregate

And party with their scumbag friends--

Where victims are groomed and lives are shattered

And perpetrators won't make amends--

 

Where classified documents were once found

Lying around for guests' perusal--

Where the owner would be adept

At teaching a course: How to Bamboozle--

 

Where anti-democratic plotters

Plan how they will fleece the country,

How they'll support a corrupt regime,

And how troops will police the country.

 

The place is owned by an infamous felon--

A mob don, kingpin, crime boss type,

Who chases after any critic

With whom he has the slightest gripe--

 

Who also is an extortionist

And wants us all to bend to his will--

Corporations, places of learning,

And legislators on Capitol Hill.

 

So get the troops out of D.C.

And send them to the Florida coast

To crime-ridden Mar-a-Lago.

THAT'S where they are needed the most.

-by Bob B (8-21-25)

Flexing His Flabby Muscle

Trump is flexing his flabby muscle.

He keeps doing that all the time.

He wants to prove that he's in control

And show that he is tough on crime.

 

A triple-axe murderer

Fled Madrid. Yes, he's the one

Who went to Venezuela where he

Was sent to prison for what he'd done.

 

Trump had the killer released

After he'd made a prison deal.

The murderer now walks our streets!

Tell me how that makes you feel.

 

Kilmar Obrego García was sent

By accident to El Salvador

To languish in prison. After some months

He was returned, but Trump is sore.

 

So Trump's administration found

A felon set for deportation

To testify against García.

The thug's now free. An abomination!

 

Ghilaine Maxwell, sex trafficker

Linked to Trump and sentenced in court

To a 20-year prison term,

Was moved to a prison more like a resort.

 

After Donald Trump took office,

We saw him pull out all the stops

To pardon the Capitol rioters--even

One who called for killing cops.

 

The guy is now a DOJ

Official. The AG hired the man.

In order to please Donald Trump,

Bondi will do whatever she can.

 

Although in D.C. crime is down,

Trump wants control, of course.

And so there's now a domestically

Deployed military force.

 

And NOW he calls on the national guard?

Before he wasn't so quick to respond

When rioters stormed the Capitol.

With them he has a special bond.

 

We are aware that Donald Trump

Employs distractions all the time.

Instead of releasing the Epstein files,

He wants us to think he's tough on crime.

-by Bob B (8-17-25)

(Thanks to R.M. for the inspiration)

A Modern Major Autocrat

(The following poem can be sung to the melody of "The Major-General's Song" from Gilbert and Sullivan's THE PIRATES OF PENZANCE. Check it out on YouTube. The first STRESSED syllable in each line is the SECOND syllable.)

 

Trump IS the very model of a modern major autocrat.

He sidles up to despots and we see him do a lot of that.

He thinks he is a genius who displays originality

And doesn't understand that he is reeking of banality.

He doesn’t like diplomacy and has no grasp of history.

How people can put up with him is really quite a mystery.

He fans the fires of discontent and lives for praise and flattery,

And if he doesn't get them he resorts to verbal battery.

 

He WANTS complete control to rule the country with an iron fist.

He's NOTHING but an ego-driven maniac and narcissist.

He thumbs his nose at democratic ways and does a lot o’ that,

For he’s the very model of a modern major autocrat.

 

He scorns the rule of law and doesn't care if he's a criminal.

His instincts for corruption are much more than just subliminal.

He hopes that crypto currency will fill his coffers to the brim

And acts as though he doesn't care about what allies think of him.

He's fired a lot of workers and he boasts that he’s expedient.

His sycophants must fawn on him and prove that they’re obedient.

The gifts and money that he gets affect his greedy attitude.

His favors in return display how he will show his gratitude.

 

Regarding scientists and experts, Trump will ask, "What good are they?"

Since HE is such a know-it-all, it doesn't matter what they say.

He thumbs his nose at democratic ways and does a lot o’ that,

For he’s the very model of a modern major autocrat.

 

While more detention camps pop up--there's one now in the Everglades--

It seems that he is trying to distract us from his sexcapades,

For he and Jeffrey Epstein often seemed to be contiguous.

That they were friends was obvious and clearly not ambiguous.

But now that he's in power he will use the DOJ, of course,

To threaten and intimidate his "enemies" with no remorse.

And once he has control of what the media can say to us,

Imagine all the lies that he will force it to convey to us.

 

How sad to have a president who oozes such hypocrisy

Become the biggest threat we've ever seen to our democracy!

He thumbs his nose at democratic ways and does a lot o’ that,

For he’s the very model of a modern major autocrat.

-by Bob B (8-7-25)