Abraham was sitting around
Minding his very own business when
His Lord spoke to him. You see,
They talked every now and then.
"Take your son up into the hills.
I know a place that's really nice.
And don't forget your dagger, Abe.
I'm hungry for a sacrifice."
So ol' Abe grabbed his son--Isaac--
And off they went, minding the Lord.
I guess there wasn't enough going on
And so the Lord was getting bored.
Once Abe found the perfect spot,
He laid some sticks upon the ground.
He was going to sacrifice
His son there on that little mound.
Isaac lay upon the sticks,
Silently, without thrashing.
His dad was leaning over him.
In his hand his knife was flashing.
Isaac put two and two together.
(You wouldn't have to be that smart
To know your dad was just about
To plunge a knife into your heart.)
Suddenly, the Lord said "Whoa!
I was kidding. Put down that knife.
Abe, I didn't mean for you
To put an end to Isaac's life.
"I was merely testing you.
Sorry about the little scare.
The two of you can go back home
And wash out Isaac's underwear."
Abraham found a ram in a thicket--
Sadly, an unlucky one--
And offered his Lord some roasted ram--
That instead of roasted son.
It doesn't sound to me as though
Abraham's god was on the level.
If gods are willing to traumatize
Kids like that, who needs a devil?
-by Bob B (2-10-25)
