It's YOUR Fault!*

BIDEN (to Bush)

I have to say,

Because of you, man,

We have this mess

In Afghanistan.

 

BUSH

It's not my fault.

We were attacked

On 9/11,

As a matter of fact.

If we hadn't gone

To Afghanistan

What would have been

Al-Qaeda's next plan?

 

BIDEN (to Bush)

But wait a minute!

Al-Qaeda was routed.

But let's talk about

Other things you flouted.

Like the truth when you said--

Like a vicious hawk--

That there were reasons

To invade Iraq.

 

OBAMA (to Bush)

Ah, so it's your fault.

 

BUSH

No!

WE went there

Because of the production

Of dangerous weapons

Of mass destruction.

 

OBAMA (to Bush)

But how did they ever

Get on your list--

The WMDs--

For they DIDN'T exist?

 

OBAMA, BIDEN (to Bush)

See, it's your fault!

 

BUSH

No, it isn't!

I decided

As commander in chief

That Saddam Hussein

Was causing too much grief.

I had to do

Something about it.

So, I had my team

Try to figure out it.

 

OBAMA, BIDEN

Figure it out,

Is what you mean.

But come on now:

You've GOTTA come clean.

 

BUSH (to Obama)

Wait!

You're the one

Who pulled our troops

Out of Iraq,

Which then allowed groups

Of ISIS fighters

To spread their hate

As they tried to form

An Islamic state.

 

So it's your fault.

 

OBAMA (to Bush)

The Iraqis wanted

Us to leave.

I didn't have

Any tricks up my sleeve.

The war in Iraq

Was a major distraction,

It didn't help matters,

Not even by a fraction.

Because of you,

People lost their focus

On Afghanistan

With all your hocus-pocus.

 

BUSH, BIDEN (to Obama)

But then you suddenly

Had the urge

To initiate

A giant surge

Of troops again

In Afghanistan.

What the hell

Were you thinking, man?

 

TRUMP

You all bear

Responsibility.

The war was a lesson

In futility.

 

BUSH, OBAMA, BIDEN (to Trump)

You're the one

Who spun his wheels.

With Taliban forces

You made some deals

Without including

Officials from

The government.

And that was dumb!

Did YOU perhaps show

With your Sharpie and your chart

That by May 1

The troops would depart?

 

TRUMP (to Obama and Biden)

Now wait a minute!

Part of your campaign

Was troop withdrawal

From the Afghan domain.

 

BIDEN (to Trump)

And that's what I did.

I followed through

With an agreement

That was made by you.

It wasn't something

That I reversed.

I just moved it

To August 31st.

Who could know how long

The government would last

And that the Taliban

Would move in so fast?

 

BUSH, OBAMA, TRUMP (to Biden)

Then it's YOUR fault!

 

THE PEOPLE (to Bush, Biden, Obama, and Trump)

It's EVERYBODY'S fault…

Along with Congress

And others we could blame.

But stop pointing fingers

And end this stupid game!

You ALL bear the fault.

Be that as it may,

What is done is done.

That was yesterday.

We need to save lives,

So, find a way somehow

To try to figure out

What to do now.

 

BIDEN, OBAMA, TRUMP, BUSH (pointing at one another)

But it's still your fault!

 

THE PEOPLE

Stop!

 

-by Bob B (8-18-21)

 

°Very loosely based on Stephen Sondheim's song "Your Fault" from INTO THE WOODS