We're Your Friendly NRA

"In case you're wondering who we are,

We're your friendly NRA.

We work hard to fight against

Anyone who gets in our way.

"Feeling lost and insecure?

Feeling hopeless or dejected?

Come on down and buy your gun.

Your spirits will be resurrected.

"What? You want a handgun? Pshaw!

A handgun's just a sissy toy.

An assault weapon is what you need

To make you feel like a really big boy.

“The thought of guns everywhere

Titillates us to the core.

We can’t describe the ecstasy
Of having more and more and more!

"Your Congresspeople love to stick

Their hands into our bulging pockets.

Call it a little tit for tat--

Just keep us off your legal dockets.

"Our fearless leader is Wayne LaPierre.

With every gun sale he's elated.

Some say he prevaricates;

We say truth is overrated.

"Gun manufacturers,

You scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours.

We'll make sure that all can access

Weapons that are made for wars.

"Certainly our Founding Fathers

Knew what they were doing when

They envisioned assault weapons

In the hands of all brave men.

"Join our 'well regulated

Militia' here in the United States.

We don’t like our beloved Second
Amendment to undergo debates.

"We are doing all we can

To weaken all gun safety laws.

Please don't mention violence;

Every system has its flaws.

"We subscribe to firearm freedom--

A genuine right that's everyone's.

Here's one way to look at it:

Religious liberty for your guns.

"We’ll take anybody's money

To channel to a gun-worthy cause--

Even if it's Russian rubles

And maybe breaks a couple of laws.

"'Life, liberty, and the pursuit of guns'--

That's our motto, simple and clear.

Gun grabbers had best beware:

The NRA will persevere.

"So now you know who we are:

We're your friendly NRA.

Stockpile now and pay for it later.

Guns in any form make our day."

(6-17-16) By Bob B