Heavenly Thoughts

The concept of heaven titillates,

Bewilders, and often befuddles.

Imagining how it operates

Leaves one in tangles and muddles.

Think of a woman whose husbands have numbered

At least two or three.

In heaven will they all be together?

How awkward that would be!

Let's say you want servants galore

To cater to every desire.

Is there perchance a sign on the Gates

That reads "Servants for Hire"?

If HER idea of heaven would mean

Being forever with HIM,

But HIS wishes do not include HER,

Her chances of bliss will be slim.

Though harp music is fine now and then,

Too much would be cloying.

But whiny, screechy electric guitars

Could also become annoying.

If winning's your thing, then heaven's for you,

Whatever the sport you choose.

But if you win, don't forget:

Somebody has to lose.

Now who wants to lose in Paradise?

There must be a glitch.

Or maybe it's false advertising.

You know: bait and switch.

If my idea of heaven would be

Walking around in the nude,

We would have a problem if

You, dear friend, were a prude.

If for a dog heaven would be

Forever chasing cats,

Paradise for a cat might be

A constant supply of rats.

That would be fine and dandy for dogs

As far as we can tell.

For cats, however, the dogs' heaven

Would end up being cat hell.

Back to the rats, if heaven meant

Feeding a hungry feline,

They would seek a sign saying Exit,

For which they'd make a beeline.

The more you think about the idea,

The more it gets confusing.

You can try to figure it out,

But you can't win for losing.

(5-19-16) By Bob B